Five Percent

Okay, I have to say it, I'm sick of writing about myself and my whole weight-loss thing. I knew when I started this that it was an egocentric endeavor, but I honestly thought that I had enough interesting things to say that weren't just about me that I could keep an ethereal audience entertained. Not only egocentric, but egotistical too! Sheesh. What I have come to find out is that I just can't do it! I can't even keep myself interested!

Nonetheless, I feel a need to see this through. It's been two weeks since I had that huge, 12 pound, weight gain. Last week I lost 8.2 pounds, and this week I had an 8.6 pound loss, putting me at a total loss of 19.4 pounds for eight weeks.

So why do I still feel discouraged? Maybe because I see how easily the weight can come back, and losing it is hard work, dangit. I can't ever let my guard down. I've spent years just picking up any old thing I wanted to eat (and look where it got me), and now I have to not only think about it, but I have to research points and document them too. But more than that, I'm scared. What if, no matter what I do, no matter how hard I work, I can't ever lose more than 50 pounds? I know, I know, what happened to that positive attitude I had at the beginning of my blog? I don't have an answer to that, but I do know that I'll get it again, and until then, I still won't give up.