The First Weigh-In

I was so excited to go to Weight Watchers and get weighed today. I don't have a scale, but I knew I had to have lost weight because I hadn't gone over my points. Aside from sticking to the plan, my goal for the week was to lose a point to eat. As you lose weight, you have less points that you can eat, and I was determined to lose one this week. That might be kind of a crazy goal, but loosing points means I'm losing weight, and I was really close to the line. So, I accomplished my goal, I lost 3.6 pounds. Now 3.6 pounds doesn't really feel like anything when there is so much to lose, but I'm being more realistic this time around.

I'm a product of the immediate gratification, disposable mentality that most Americans have these days. I'm aware of it, and fight against it, but it's still there. I want to be able to lose 200 pounds in six months, but realistically (I think), it's going to take a minimum of two years of steady work to get it off the way I've chosen. I'm okay with that. I want to look great, but at this point that's never going to happen without surgery. Even if I lose everything I need to, I'm going to have terribly baggy skin. It should be obvious that my appearance has never been a motivating factor for me.

There is so much I want to be able to do that my size and weight keeps me from doing. I'm constantly alert to my surroundings, gauging if I'm going to fit wherever it is I need to fit, if I'm going to break whatever I might be offered to sit on, or if I'm simply going to run out of breath and energy. I've been taking online classes through Utah State University, and I was excited at the prospect of transferring to UNLV and attending classes on campus, then I realized that I will have to deal with the possibility of not fitting into student desks. I know that some rooms will have tables and chairs, but I can't guarantee that every class will have a place for me to sit.

I want to be able to be active with my family. I want to climb rock walls with my sons, backpack down Havasu Canyon (and back up), run Crazy Bob's Bairgutsman with my sister (providing I can talk her into doing it again), and a plethora of other things that are daily activities that most people take for granted. I'm going to throw a party the first time I can sweep and mop my house without my back hurting or needing to stop for a break.